Dear Katherine,

How do I reconnect with myself after the loss of my dad? It will be a year in June. I'm going through the motions and keeping busy but I feel empty.

—Lynn

My Dearest Lynn,

Grief is a ruthless thing—it knocks you flat, steals your spark, and then just stands there, arms crossed, daring you to move on. And sure, keeping busy helps, but it won’t bring you back. You’re not just here to check off boxes and call it progress.

Trust me, I know a thing or two about trying to outpace pain. I’ve run, I’ve schemed, I’ve burned entire bridges just to stay ahead of it. But no matter how fast you move, it always catches up. So stop running. It’s exhausting and murder on your feet! Turn around, stare it down, and let yourself feel everything. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can, scream into the void if it helps. And if anyone tells you there’s a “right” way to grieve, remind them you don’t take unsolicited advice (except mine, obviously).

As for reconnecting with yourself? Start small: blast the music, buy the shoes, take the trip, try the hobby even if you’ll quit in a week. You don’t need to reinvent yourself, you just need to remember that you still matter.

You’re not lost, darling, you’re rebuilding. Piece by piece, you’ll find your way . . . not back to who you were, but forward to someone even stronger. And when you do, trust me, the world won’t know what hit it.

With all my wicked little heart,

Katherine