Dear Katherine,

I’ve always been afraid to take up space. I let others shine because I think they made need it more. How do I let go of the burden of worrying of how other feel towards me, good or bad?

Deanna

My Dearest Deanna,

Afraid to take up space? Why? You’re not some delicate little wisp of a thing meant to tiptoe through life while everyone else takes center stage. You exist. You matter. And you, my dear, deserve to shine just as brilliantly—if not more—than anyone else. Trust me, I’ve spent centuries watching people try to make themselves smaller for the sake of others, and let me tell you: it’s boring.

You say you let others shine because they might need it more. How generous of you. But let me ask you this—who decided you weren’t worthy of the spotlight? Was it you? Because I can assure you, being “too much” is deliciously fun. And consider this: What if by stepping back, you’re not helping, but holding back? What if someone out there needs to see you standing tall so they can find the courage to do the same? Strength isn’t found in shrinking. It’s found in owning your space unapologetically.

Now, as for this burden of worrying about what others think of you—drop it. Set it on fire. Bury it in an unmarked grave. People will think whatever they want, and frankly, it’s not your problem. You could be the sweetest, kindest soul on earth, and someone would still find a reason to whisper about you behind your back. And if they’re going to talk, let’s at least make sure you give them something juicy to discuss, hmm?

So, take up space, Deanna. Walk into a room like you own it (because why shouldn’t you?), speak your mind without checking if it’s palatable, and for heaven’s sake, stop dimming yourself for people who wouldn’t do the same for you. Life is short, darling—well, for you anyway—so you might as well live it at full volume.

With all my wicked little heart,

Katherine