Love Like a Vampire: Katherine’s Rules for Immortal Romance
Love is a dangerous game. Play it well, and you’ll have a romance so intoxicating it lingers for centuries. Play it poorly, and you’ll find yourself heartbroken, desperate, and—worst of all—forgettable. And if there’s one thing I refuse to be, it’s forgettable.
Unlike most of the fragile little humans stumbling their way through love, I’ve had centuries to perfect the art. I’ve seen empires crumble, kingdoms burn, and entire legacies forged in the name of passion. So if you’re looking for soft, sappy advice about soulmates and true love’s kiss, you must be new here.
If you want to love like a vampire—fiercely, dangerously, undeniably—then listen closely.
1. Love Yourself First—Or Get Torn to Shreds
Let’s get something straight, sweetheart: If you don’t walk into a room like you own it, someone else will try to make you feel like you don’t belong there at all. I have survived witches, werewolves, and more fragile egos than I care to count, and I can tell you this—power isn’t given, it’s taken. Love yourself first, or prepare to be someone’s prey.
2. Passion Fades—But Intelligence Is Forever
Yes, chemistry matters. I’m not telling you to settle for someone who makes your heart rate normal (boring). But passion alone burns out faster than a human lifespan. If you want something that lasts, you need more than heat—you need someone who challenges you, who sees through your games and makes you actually think. Find a partner who keeps up, or you’ll be spending eternity pretending to be impressed by mediocrity.
3. Never Bow to Someone Who Wouldn’t Bleed for You
Respect isn’t optional—it’s the foundation of every real love story. You think I wasted my time on anyone who needed me to be smaller so they could feel bigger? Please. If they aren’t willing to fight for you, if they don’t admire your power instead of fearing it, then they aren’t worth a drop of your blood, let alone your heart.
4. A Little Mystery is Attractive—A Game of Cat and Mouse is Exhausting
Look, I enjoy the thrill of the chase as much as the next immortal, but there’s a difference between intrigue and manipulation. If someone is constantly making you question where you stand, they’re not playing hard to get—they’re just wasting your time. And time, darling, is something you never get back. If you’re going to play, play to win.
5. Choose Someone Who Would Burn the World for You
Love is a battlefield, and you deserve someone who would fight for you—not someone you have to convince to care. If they wouldn’t go to war for you, why waste your time on them? Love should feel like fire—warm enough to keep you safe, dangerous enough to destroy anything that threatens it.
6. Keep the Fire Alive—Or Blow it Out
Here’s the thing about lasting love: It doesn’t just happen. You have to feed the flame. Surprise them. Challenge them. Keep them on their toes. A love that gets comfortable is a love that dies a slow, boring death. And if you find yourself in a relationship that’s run its course? Don’t drag it out. End it swiftly, dramatically, and in a way they’ll never forget.
7. Be the Story They’ll Never Forget
At the end of the day, love should make you feel more—more powerful, more alive, more you. If it doesn’t? Then be your own damn love story. There’s nothing more dangerous, or more irresistible, than someone who doesn’t need anyone but still chooses to love anyway.
And if you ever find yourself doubting your worth, just ask yourself: Would Katherine settle for this?
Exactly.
With all my wicked little heart,
Katherine
Need advice? Click here to Ask Katherine.